‘The Legend of Michael Mishra’ falls short of expectations at every level. In fact, it makes new records of the same. The film is a perfect example of, ‘never judge a film by its trailer’. The trailer looked promising but the film was the total opposite. The entire film has been acted badly despite the presence of Arshad and Boman. From the script to direction to music, everything is an epic fail. The humour is forced and so poor that instead of laughing at the lame jokes, you might find yourself wondering, “What made you come for this film?”

There is nothing legendary about this film which glorifies a Patna-based kidnapping kingpin. It is a forgettable affair. But, what may stop you from wiping out this film completely from your memory is that it’s made by the same director who gave us the brilliant Mathrubhoomi in 2003. From reality show ‘Bihar Is Full Of Talent’ to a jail named ‘Bhairon Ghati Ka Kala Pani’, this film showcases the highest level of mindless buffoonery. An utterly bored Warsi sleepwalks through the film and keeps mumbling something in a dialect no Bihari has ever used. It’s a complete mockery of the viewers’ sensibilities. Warsi’s sidekicks, including the chief one Half Pant (Kayoze Irani), take the film’s absurdity many notches higher. It shocks you even if you stop caring. There’s no escaping. Its banality knows no boundary and every actor contributes to it. The conversation between Boman Irani and the visiting students is shockingly lame. But, let’s not mark out just one scene as the others are equally sappy. The lack of hype around The Legend Of Michael Mishra isn’t going to help it either as it’s clumsy beyond expectations. Even the most optimistic of us would find it difficult to sit through this cheerless drama.

There are movies whose existence baffles you. The Legend of Michael Mishra is a worthy entry in this infamous league.  The so-called plot twist is easily foreseen, leaving viewers pondering why Manish Jha drags the proceedings to the point of inertia. The songs here aren't just superfluous they are ridiculously banal, most of which Aditi Rao Hydari has the misfortune to perform to. Boman Irani's job is to narrate Mishra's legend to a bunch of tourists. Warsi's desperate attempts at being a larger-than-life hero with a sense of humour are in vain for the script is insipid and utterly devoid of fun. Kayoze Irani is the sidekick who instead of providing comic relief is a source of constant annoyance with his OTT antics. The longer The Legend of Michael Mishra proceeds more the laughs come at unwarranted moments. Jha's exaggerated set-up turns into a shambolic mess with poor production values and a listless romance. So when a character says, "Zindagi mein kahin chook gaye hain hum" (We've made a mistake in our life), we are ready to accept this as the filmmaker's apology. But forgiveness is a different matter altogether.

Never has a movie been more inaptly titled. There is nothing remotely legendary about The Legend of Michael Mishra and its protagonist. This film is a shoddily packaged cock-and-bull yarn that makes as little sense as an alligator waltzing on an autobahn.  To cut to the chase, The Legend of Michael Mishra is so egregiously bad that it isn’t funny. Written and directed by Manish Jha, a filmmaker who once upon a time brought home an award from Cannes, is everything that a comedy should never be. Not for a moment does The Legend of Michael Mishra let a semblance of common sense get in the way of its runaway stupidity. The result is an attempted laugh riot that runs riot all right but delivers no laughs. The only time that the painfully puerile comedy comes anywhere close to serving its avowed purpose is pretty late in the film, by which time one has switched off completely from the burbling bilge unfolding on the screen. The film has rained so much nonsense upon the audience by then that the scene passes without causing a ripple. The Legend of Michael Mishra is an unmitigated disaster: so ham-fisted that it’s all fingers and thumbs pointing in no particular direction. Arshad Warsi (looking dreadfully scruffy for the most part) and Aditi Rao Hydari (straining to get the Bihari lingo right) have never looked more ill at ease in a film. As for Boman Irani, the less said the better. What on earth is he doing in The Legend of Michael Mishra? One can only wonder. Bihar mein toh kuch bhi ho sakta hain (anything can happen in Bihar), somebody yelps in the film. But even that dictum cannot explain why anyone should invest time and money on a film as insufferable as this one. Want to feel good? Stay away from Michael Mishra and his low blows.

Some films are so painfully awful that they can safely be categorised under: what were they thinking? Clearly, the people responsible for this enterprise must have thought they were making a comedy. But it made me cry: for the terribly wasted talent of the terribly talented Arshad Warsi, as well as his cohorts who’ve done so much better in earlier outings. The film is infested by two other characters who call themselves Full Pant and Half Pant ( who should rightfully have been labelled `Phull’ and `Haaph’ played respectively by the Irani pere and fils, Boman and Kayoze). Difficult to believe that this the same Manish Jha who gave us the throught-provoking Matrubhoomi, and Anwar.

While there have been reports of the film facing protests in Punjab owing to religious references, it won't be wrong if it faces issues elsewhere owing to hurting the sensibilities of a 'thinking' moviegoer. For starters, the film is absolutely absurd. You wonder if the actors were given a valid script to begin with. It looks like they wore their own clothes, wrote their own lines and danced the way they wanted to without an expert guiding them whatsoever. The film aspires to spoof small town goons in a filmy way but the execution lacks style, substance and humour to fulfill this desire. You wonder why someone like Arshad Warsi or Boman Irani would agree to be in it. Arshad looks uninterested, Boman's son Kayoze, who was nicely cast in Student of the Year, is just another guy trying to be funny because he is fat. The film's extras come across like they were hired from the streets without any prior acting experience. Aditi Rao Hydari's good looks is the only good thing about this amateurish attempt, masquerading as a feature film, aimed for adults. Don't know about 'Legend' but this insipid film ijj epic fail for sure.