Saat Uchakkey is Indian comedy film directed by Sanjeev Sharma, starring an ensemble cast of Manoj Bajpayee, Anupam Kher, Kay Kay Menon, Annu Kapoor, Vijay Raaz, and Aditi Sharma. The movie revolves around the amoral Pappi’s keenness to get rich quick and marry his girlfriend Sona. He is not alone in his desire to cut corners in life. His partners in crime are keysmith Haggu, metalsmith Khappe, knick-knacks seller Babbe, a gambler called Ajji and the multi-talented petty criminal Jaggi. They are the seven loafers of the title. Sandeep Saket’s screenplay draws neat, well-defined sketches of each of the seven in addition to their bête noir, the local policeman Tejpal who is smitten by Sona. When this disparate group comes together, they are hilarious and hold out a promise of brilliance. Saat Uchakkey loses its way in self-indulgence in the chaotic lanes of purani Delhi, a bunch of small-time crooks are desperate to rise above their lot. It’s a solid star cast. But the star cast is wasted in a story that is too long, and that runs out of ideas. From our side, give it a miss and enjoy the weekend chilling at home.

It’s a solid cast. The sort that’d hold fort in any damn film. They’re nuanced when needed, crass and loud and swearing their mouths off for the most part because that’s what has been asked for. In its character portrayal, in capturing Old Delhi, in its cheap, but real, humour, is the film’s high point. But it is wasted in a story that is too long, and that runs out of ideas during the actual heist. It devolves into a Priyadarshan-ish comic climax, and uncalled-for divine intervention. In the end, it has flavour, a seed of a good idea even, something mega-budget films often lack. But like our Dilli Laundas Eleven, it lacks planning and execution.

It is perhaps in the fitness of things that Saat Uchakkey opens in a psychiatric ward captured in desaturated frames. The first few sequences, no less perplexing than the remainder of the film, are signposts to what lies ahead. Saat Uchakkey is a comic caper gone wrong. It seeks to blend wicked wit, wild flights of fancy and gritty realism. The outcome is well shy of productive.That is rather sad because the talent on view, both off and on the screen, is anything but lightweight. While they appear to be enjoying themselves in the bargain, the script offers them little help as they seek to inject hilarity into the proceedings. In the end, Saat Uchakkey is such a colossal waste. Saat Uchakkey isn't low on ambition. It seeks to blend the grungy glory of a Brillante Mendoza film (without, of course, the graphic violence and sense of unsettling dread) with the absurd angularities of a Moliere comedy (without, of course, the quirky philosophy). Sadly, neither of the narrative strains acquires a life of its own and creates any impact on what transpires. Saat Uchakkey is far too undercooked a broth to pass for what it wants to be - a zany, off-the-beaten-track entertainer. It veers off the rails all too quickly and never returns anywhere close to getting back on course. Stay out of the way.

Old ghosts and new dreams survive side by side in this Manoj Bajpayee, Vijay Raaz film as we get to see Old Delhi like we have never seen it before. Sadly though, director Sharma (who has worked earlier in Peepli Live, Raghu Romeo) lets the film drag to an exhausted and stretched ending. A film with such a sure touch didn’t need this heavy hand.

It is disheartening to see talented actors like Manoj Bajpayee and Kay Kay Menon succumbing to playing lousy characters in a loud and absurd film that pretends to be funny. Barring the authentic setting (narrow bylanes of old Delhi), nothing really works in the film’s favour. Bajpayee’s haircut is as hideous as the film’s dialogues. Every line is either meaningless or laced with the choicest of cuss words and it all seems uncalled for. (Read “Never let his wonder steal your thunder,” etc) Every character wants to shove something or the other into somebody’s backside. Characters are called Pappi, Jaggi, Bichchi and Haggu! Yes, you heard the last one right. What makes it further intolerable is the fact that the movie is full of incessant rambling with no concrete story or purpose per se. You wait patiently for things to move ahead at least in the second half but that never happens. The characters keep yacking and yacking and yacking, making the film seem like it lasted for seven hours instead of two. Eventually, you stop stressing your mind and stop figuring out what could have possibly been the reason for this film’s existence. We have no clue what was the director’s vision behind this film but his execution has gone awfully wrong. Please skip it, unless you want to subject yourself to some mental torture.