Movies are supposed to make you think. Joe B Carvalho makes you ponder on a singular question: ‘why?’ Why would a script so inane come to be made into a film?  And why would an actor with the considerable talent of Arshad Warsi come to be in it? The terribly unfunny comedy has jokes and punch lines (repeated a few times) so crass that you might punch someone for uttering them even once. The plot comprises of a comedy of errors where a silly love affair get mixed up with a sillier terrorist plot. In between, there are more sad jokes (“I’m pulling”. "When did I see you’re stree ling?"), bad songs and what looks suspiciously like a half-baked reference to a scene from Psycho. Watch this then at your own peril.

A comedy film comprises a funny script and good dialogues. 'Mr Joe B Carvalho' sadly lacks both. Resultantly, the two hours spent watching the movie turn out to be pure torture. What you can laugh at is the poor performance on the part of the director, producer and story writer. Watch this movie only if for you anything passes in the name of 'comedy'. The film deserves the one star it got for the bravery the makers of this film showed while making it.

Mr Joe B Carvalho, directed by first-timer Samir Tewari, is a comedy of terrors in which anything goes. It is utterly unfunny and riddled with mindless gags that drag beyond acceptable limits. The film’s screenplay is such a pathetic mess that there is little that he can do to prevent the film from sinking into a morass of its own making. But there is no respite from the rest of the moronic lot all the way until the climax. The film tries very, very hard to be smart. All it manages to be is downright silly. Arshad Warsi is the only bright spot in this blob of darkness. He strives to give the underdog-hero a semblance of sense. But a wreck is a wreck. Be warned. Jo bhi karlo but stay well clear of Mr Joe B Carvalho if you value your money – and sanity. This film deserves only half a star for that is all that it offers – Arshad Warsi at half tilt.

Joe B Carvalho tries its hardest to make you laugh, but the thing about comedy is that it comes with a comfortable flow. You cannot simply force funny down someone's pharynx. The performances are not even worth mentioning and the music is the stuff that they use to torture prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. The pun on Joe B Carvalho's name is a long-running 'joke' — one of the many instruments of torment that the film employs. Joe B Carvalho is that annoying friend who won't stop forcing those unbearable PJs on you as you try to laugh politely while one eye seeks an emergency exit. At the end of the film, you slip off your seat, onto your knees and beg Mr Joe B Carvalho — please ab maar daalo. 

Hell breaks loose throughout the duration of debutant film director Samir Tewari's Mr Joe B Carvalho because there's a daft detective (Arshad Warsi), an eloped heiress (Geeta Basra), some crazy assassins (Jaaved Jafferi, Vijay Raaz, Vrajesh Hirjee), some incompetent cops headed by Soha Ali Khan and God alone who else, chasing one another's tail in madcap situations set against the backdrop of a marriage. Ideally, this detective comic-thriller that spoofs mainstream Hindi cinema in a small degree attempts to be somewhat like Hollywood's Naked Gun series. And it should have made for a goofy film. It's a pity that the writer and director didn't pay more attention. Had the film been as honourable as their intentions seemed (of making a clean comedy that is neither slapstick nor adult), this genre may have actually got a fillip.