Seema (Taapsee Pannu) is a young girl who lives in Mumbai with her father (Anupam Kher). He, being an active military officer, wants Seema to marry a similar man. He had arranged Seema's marriage to such people five times in a row, with Seema evading all five arrangements. Her father had now arranged her marriage for the sixth time, which Seema evades again and escapes to Goa to live with her uncle, her father's younger brother (Anupam Kher), in a double role. Siddharth Kashyap (Ali Zafar), Jai (Siddharth) and Omi (Divyendu Sharma) are three friends who live in a rented apartment. Miss Josephine (Lilette Dubey) is their landlady. All the three are frequent visitors to a café owned by Joseph Furtado (Rishi Kapoor).
The three owe huge amounts of money to Joseph and Josephine. One day, Omi spots Seema taking a walk with her dog Aryabhatta. Attracted to her, he calls his friend Jai. Both of them try to impress her. One after the other, they break into Seema's house. Omi tries to impress Seema with his poetry. Meanwhile, Seema mistakes him for a dog trainer and takes him straight into her bedroom. Omi assumes Seema is interested him and starts browsing her bedroom while Seema prepares her dog [name of Dog is "Aryabhata" given in movie by writer] Unable to handle the dog, Omi runs back home, where he tells everyone a completely different story. Omi tells his friends that they had sex and were deeply in love. Jealous, Jai tries his luck. Jai breaks in, telling them he is a reputed film-maker. Upon realization, Seema calls her grandmother and makes her beat up Jai until he finally makes his run. Back home, Jai tells a similar story. Jai tells the other two that they two were deeply in love and were now dating. Siddharth, meanwhile, isn't interested in Seema.
However, one day, Siddharth accidentally bumps into Seema, unaware of the fact that she is the girl Jai and Omi failed to impress. Both of them have a chat over lunch. Seema is impressed with Sid and asks him out on a date. Both of them get along very well and date frequently, until one day, Jai and Omi spot them. Both of them, jealous of the fact that they are now dating, tell Sid that she isn't a good girl and ask him to break up with her. Seema, on the other hand, is shocked by the fact that they are both Sid's friends. Sid pretends to beat up both his friends to impress Seema, which later turns out to be Omi and Jai's imagination. Albeit the fight, they continue to try and split Sid and Seema.
One day, Josephine gets caught in heavy rain. Joseph too was present at the scene and helps out Josephine. Both of them were amused at the same things between them. They both fall in love but hesitate to start dating. Jai and Omi try to take advantage of the situation. They assume that Joseph would stop asking them to pay the café bills and Josephine would let them stay at her apartment for free if they helped unite them. In their many attempts, they somehow unite Joseph and Josephine. Despite that, Joseph & Josephine still don't forgive the three. So Jai and Omi start lying about each of the two to the other. They get the money they wanted. However, Joseph and Josephine do not break up as they soon realize that all the secrets told to them were lies.
Soon after that, Sid and Seema break up, following successful attempts by Jai and Omi. However, Sid is deeply hurt and gets drunk. Later, one day, Omi and Jai find a poison bottle in Sid's drawer and thought that he has committed suicide even though he hasn't. Realizing that they have made a really bad mistake, Jai and Omi try several times to unite Sid and Seema again. But they fail, causing Seema to get frustrated and blames Sid. One day, finally, they go to Seema's house and meet her grandmother. She comes up with a rather filmy solution and suggests Jai and Omi to play kidnappers and supposedly kidnap Seema. Then, the aunt goes to Sid and asks him to rescue Seema from the kidnappers. Finally, Sid and Seema start dating again. Seema's uncle, who had always been trying to marry Seema to a civilian rather than a military officer, suggests Seema to marry Sid. At the same time, Seema's father turns up trying to take Seema back home. In order to solve the problem, Sid unites the brothers by telling them, that every military officer was once a civilian. The military officer & his brother are impressed and they both let Sid and Seema marry.